After a long time of chasing after other people’s approval, you’ll just wake up one day and find out that after everything you’ve done, you haven’t gotten anything at all. Worst is, you have lost more things in the process.
(There is so many after in this post. lol)
They say that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger…
I say that’s true, but not before you are broken into pieces and you feel like you are going to fall apart sooner or later. But you strive and grasp that thin string of hope in front of you. Before you get stronger, you’d die first or burn into ashes and then you’ll be revived. This time, you are definitely stronger, better, and never the same person again.
I was bullied when I was a kid.
Upon starting a new blog, I’m faced with the dilemma of finding a good theme. Something I haven’t used before. Now that’s quite hard. Afterall, I couldn’t think of a theme that I liked and haven’t used yet in my main blog. I’m the type to change the look of my blog twice or thrice a year and I’ve been blogging for 5 years now. I wouldn’t want to re-use an old theme and just use a different background either.
So I look around the available themes on WP. Most of the recent ones lean more on the photography side or sometimes a little too bold for my taste. Then I come across Penscratch and falls in love with it immediately. It’s neat and simple, just the theme I’m looking for. Now I’m wondering why I never bothered using this theme before…
Quick fact: I’m pretty/good-looking… or so people say.
I disagree though.
(Ganda means beauty for those non-native of my language.)
So I made a new blog… again. This is like the nth time I’ve made one and I’m not sorry. For me, each blog has a certain theme, a certain personality I’d like to inject but never got around to fully form it (except for my main blog, that is).
For the nth time too, I’m procrastinating. It has been my shadow. Procrastinating is like running… in circles. You run and when you face a hurdle, you try to maneuver around it and continue running away, pretending everything is/will be okay. Eventually, you’ll face it again and you’ll do the same thing twice until it becomes a vicious cycle.
Procrastinating is something we secretly wish deep deep down us. You know you should avoid it like plague yet you still do it. Why? Because we avoid hardwork. Because hardwork is ugly, scary. Who would want that? We’re too lazy or sometimes scared to battle the resistance, to face the enemy.
Is there a way to battle procrastination when the last and only boss is yourself?
Mine is to face it head-on. That’s the only way I could think of. Fighting the resistance in doing things in small doses is the first step. Sometimes when we actually try doing things, we’ll realize the it isn’t so bad at all so we continue. There are times when I get competitive against other people’s blog posts (lol competing on a person you haven’t met and who doesn’t know you exist). Like this blogger finishes a series I happen to be reading/playing, I’ll be pumped up to plow through it. These are my pathetic attempts of combating procrastination. They are not really good advices but they aren’t so bad too. At least, I’m doing something. I’m procrastinating procrastination.